A Twist On The Fitness Vocabulary

One of the toughest parts of obtaining my physical therapy degree was learning all the medical terminology.  I mean they use the strangest terms to say the simplest things.  The teacher made a lot of enemas (not a friend) in this class, as many struggled to make the grade.

I had a good friend that I studied with, and the tests rectum (darn near killed him).  I told him that tumor (more than one) tests were varicose (close by), and then he became an outpatient (person who has fainted).

Now, you might think I am telling a fibula (small lie), but I actually finished the tests fester (quicker) than other classmates.  Although it was not easy, being fester than the others made me feel impotent (distinguished).  Feeling a little vein (conceited), I founded my own little club for the fester students, and if you completed the tests in under 10 minutes, urine (opposite of you’re out).

A guy named Pelvis (second cousin of Elvis) who was a genital (non-Jewish person), was the first member of my club, even though he had terminal illness (getting sick at the airport) just the day before.  But he did not compare to Leslie, the most attractive member of my little club.

Leslie was a “cougar”, with son who benign (what you be after you be eight), who enjoyed artery (the study of paintings).  She was hot and when I cauterize (made eye contact with her), I immediately wanted her.  She was classy, a private tutor (person who doesn’t fart in public), and I could not resist her.

Well, being a warm blooded male, I made a pass at her and she beat me with a medical staff (doctor’s cane) from D & C (where Washington is) to Caesarean section (district in Rome).  Had she done this at my job, I could have claimed labor pain (got hurt at work) and filed for workman’s comp.  I soon realized if I wanted to dilate (to live long), I better not put the moves on Leslie.

Well, the professor node (he knew it) about my club and put an end it when he started taking bribes under the table.  He had links to the mafia and the rumors were that if students did not morbid (higher offer) than the minimum, he would barium (what you do to someone after they die).

Although my little school club diminished before it really got going, I still did fairly well in the class.  I missed getting an “A” by just a few percentage points, as I left out some bowels (letters like A, E, I, O, U) and comas (a punctuation mark) on the final exam.


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